my life's current state.

I had a friend call me the other day and tell me that she was reading my blog and thought she should call.  That reminded me that I should really update this thing. Not because I don't want calls from friends, but just because I haven't really for a long time.  I think the main reason for that is because I have a lot to think about these days and it's kind of hard to put it all into words.  But right now I am sitting in the art building, waiting for the film that I just developed to dry.  I've got an hour to sit here and nothing else to work on, so why not give it a try?

Being a senior, thoughts of the future are never far from my mind.  I am struggling to find the right balance of thinking about things I need to and worrying.  It seems like every time I try to work on my resume or portfolio, I just start worrying.  And I don't want to worry, it's just so hard not to at this stage in life.  I so badly want to fully trust God with the future, but at the same time it's not like I can just sit here and do nothing and somehow the pieces are just going to fall into place and I will end up with a nice job that I love and a place live.

Right now I am so very happy with my major.  I just feel like I made the right choice sophomore year.  I am seeing some of my friends who are now questioning their majors.  I certainly feel their pain; I know what it's like to not know where God wants you to know.  But I am loving Graphic Design.  I'm not taking any classes specifically related to that part of my major,  but I still love it; the other day I went to the design section of the library and just poured over the books - just for fun.  I get to do some little design jobs at work in the alumni office - making posters, the occasional t-shirt design, etc.  It's great to know that I could do something that is so fun for the rest of my life. :)

Although I know that I will be ready for this NWC chapter of my life to be over in May when I graduate, it's still sad.  There's just a time when it is time to grow up and I can feel it approaching.  It's been a good chapter - one of the best - and it's always sad to see something so great end.  Already the lasts have begun.  The hardest is that this is my last semester on campus with two of my best friends, Rachel and Michelle (they will both be studying abroad - Rachel is doing Chicago Semester and Michelle will be in Costa Rica).  I kind of want to cry when I think about going the whole semester without them here.  And then I realize that so soon, I won't be living down the hall - or even across campus - from these beautiful, wonderful, amazing women that I am honored to call my friends.  What am I going to do?

There we go, a few of the thoughts that have been going through my mind lately.