Dark and Light.

Last weekend I went on the Black Hills Retreat. It was great to be in the beautiful Black Hills and it also gave me a much needed chance to study and learn and just be with God.

One of the things I thought about was how life is a journey. Sometimes the road is like a highway and you can just speed along for hours and hours. Other times, it is a barely worn trail through the woods, and each step is a struggle.

As a senior in college, I know that there is coming a time very soon where the journey of my life will take a major turn, out of college and into the grown-up, real world. Honestly, I am scared to death of that time. In the picture in my mind of that pathway, it is dark and unknown and very scary. I have been afraid of the dark for as long as I can remember. I used to make my mom come put me to bed so that I could be in my bed when the lights were turned off instead of turning them off and then having to climb in bed in the dark. I remember getting home late at night during high school and sprinting as fast as I possibly could to the back door because it was so scary. To this day, I hate walking across campus to the art building in the dark; if I have to, I often call my mom or someone else to talk so that I can take my mind off the darkness that surrounds me.

I happened upon Psalm 119:105 last weekend. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." I find so much comfort in that. The road is dark, but I have a lamp. God's word is there to light the way.

I know from the decisions I have made in the last few years, that it is so often hard to hear God's voice and direction. I have prayed so many prayers begging for wisdom, guidance, and discernment. But honestly, I don't think that I spent much time reading God's word during those times.

One of the workshops I went to last weekend was about Scripture Readings. The professor leading it encouraged us to read the Bible – from Genesis to Revelation – to get the entire picture of God's story. I realized that is something that I have never done, and something I want to do. He encouraged us to do it with someone and to talk about what we are reading. And one of my friends and I have decided to do it. Our goal is to finish it by graduation in May. I am excited.

So the moral of the story is that even though the path ahead is dark, I am thankful to have a lamp to guide me.