828 stupid miles.

A few weeks ago, my sister called me and told me that her boyfriend, Josh, 
had proposed to her and they are  engaged!  

Of course, I am extremely excited and happy for them!  Gushing over pictures of her ring, looking at Pinterest, and talking about exactly how he asked – lots of fun stuff!

To be perfectly honest, I’m struggling.
Not because my baby sister is getting married before me, like a lot of people might be.  I’m cool with that.  I’ve told her for years not to wait around for me to get married first because I might be a while. 
Because I’m not there.

I didn’t get to give her a hug when she told me.

I’ve only seen a crappy cell phone picture of her ring.

I feel like I’m missing out on so much by not being there during this time of planning and preparations.  I only have one sister and she’s only going to get married once (I hope!).  I want to be there to help pick out cakes and dresses, to make centerpieces and decorations, and to help her plan the music.  In person.  But the reality is that I’m over 800 miles away and I’m going to miss out on most of that stuff.

And I hate that.