I can't believe that I am going to Los Angeles in a mere 2 days. I am so excited about this trip. I'm excited to see all that God has in store, but I'm also scared. I've never been in such an inner-city place, or on a mission trip of any kind. I know that it is going to be an amazing trip, but I need courage. It's not like we're going to be in danger but it's just so out of my comfort zone. I need it though, to get out of my comfort zone. I'm so comfortable in my little corner of the world, here at Northwestern; it'll be good for me to leave for a bit. Anyways, sorry for the rambling...

In other news, we find out about the RA thing on Friday. It's going to be an interesting day. I'm so frustrated at the way this has become some kind of contest. That is not what I want. I'm to the point where I just want to find out. I don't even care that much whether I get it or not, I just want this conflict and suspence to be over. Okay, that's not really true - I really want to get it. But I hate conflict so much that I would probably give it up if I could just have my friends back the way we used to be. I'm such a peacemaker. Really, if I don't get it, I'm going to be dissapointed and upset but I think-- I hope-- I'll be alright with it. I really hope so.

Also, we are doing abstract paintings in painting class and I really like it. Well, I haven't actually started yet, but I think I'm going to like it a lot. I like the ideas that I have, anyways. I'm actually having trouble picking just one idea for this assignment, which is somewhat of a new problem for me. It's making me think more, and have real thoughts and ideas about my artwork instead of just making it... It's cool and I like it. Now I just hope my painting turns out as cool as it is in my head...